LAST week was all about the total amount required to plan a memorable wedding. This week let’s talk about how one can avoid being stressed while planning a wedding.
A wedding is supposed to be the most important day in one’s life and yet for many brides and grooms just getting there in one piece is harder than a Carmel going through the eye of a needle.
The biggest problem is stress and how all the key players in your scenario are going to act. At the end of the day what is important is that you are not walking down the aisle alone.
Feeling stressed while planning your wedding? Then read on!
As the bride and groom you must not allow the stress to steal your joy, planning process might seem to go wrong, people around you will make rude comments, those you expect to come through for your special day will not rise to the occasion, all these put together might stress you
out.
These are normal feelings but don’t fall into them. Don’t give the feelings or negative people more power than they deserve, instead believe that you are more powerful than stress, remind each other of this and you will enjoy the planning process.
As the bride price negotiations are taking place, it is vital to discuss the kind of wedding you want before you run off to tell the other relatives, friends and post on facebook that you are engaged to be married.
When you start sharing the news without having a clue about the experience you want to create, you are more vulnerable to pressure and influence from others; this is why I encourage that you know what you want before everyone you know starts telling you what you want.
Everyone has an agenda for your wedding.  People tend to see your wedding as a chance to fulfill their own plans; they tend to act out what it is all about for them and not the two of you.
Set clear boundaries and also protect yourselves emotionally from the sometimes negative vibes from well-meaning relatives and friends.
Some relatives and friends will really “push your buttons” when you are feeling very stressed, be sure to stay away from or at least limit your time with such kind of people.
I know it is hard but force yourself to it as it will pay dividends in the long run, it is not easy but it is worth it.
Never go to bed angry with your partner, remember it is the others’ stress and negativity and not yours.
Picture your memorable wedding the way you want it, visualise all of your details clearly in your mind and stay focused on what you want.
If you fail to dream, you will live in a nightmare; so figure out what you want and go for it with this mental image, you can list down all the details and one by one when you have either completed them or delegated them to someone you trust to make sure that they get done
the way you want them to be done, you can check them off.
Having this list is a huge stress buster and it helps you sleep at night. Jesus proved that one can sleep peacefully despite what was around when a fierce storm came up, high waves broke into the boat causing the boat to be filled with water.
Another secret for a good night sleep is to have a note book beside your bed and every time you wake up thinking that there is something you might have missed, write it down.
The other way you can reduce stress and make your wedding a success is time management.
Couples who begin planning early and pace themselves should be able to avoid last minute chaos.
The old saying “time is money” and “an hour late and a dollar short” could never be more
applicable than for a wedding. Give yourself as much time as possible to dream about your wedding, write down all your goals, these includes things you need to do, budget for each area and give yourself time for a breather.
While planning your wedding you may find that it has essentially taken over your life, you need to reclaim your life even if it is only for a day or for a few hours and take some time to yourself.
Make time to connect with your partner and spend positive time together. What is it you liked doing before you started planning?
Is it reading, gardening or writing? Whatever it is that you may have sacrificed for the greater
good, you need to take that time to yourself, your loved one and enjoy the relaxation that comes with doing something that you enjoy.
Relaxing is the answer to many problems among them is the relieving of tension as it is something that is necessary for so many people today.
The trick part of trying to relax for half an hour or even for 10 minutes is that you will probably fail. Doctors always advise their patients to take time off and relax for half an hour every day, they are giving excellent advice but few carry it out.
Brides and grooms try to relax while sitting down in a comfortable position all the worries that are at the back of their mind come to fore and that is the end of relaxing for that day.
Relaxing must become a habit and the way to make it a habit is to start in such a small way
that you need to devote so little time, so that it doesn’t become a strain, it doesn’t worry you or set up negative thoughts that your wedding will be boring.
Learning to delegate is vital especially the day of the wedding. Put someone else in charge of paying the vendors, making of the invitation cards, checking with the caterers or any other small task.
Read through your list and assign everything, hey it’s your day so enjoy it!
Now is not the time to be a people-pleaser, there may be many people around you who want to have their say about how your wedding should be arranged nevertheless, this is your day and while you will want to accommodate others views, much stress can be avoided if you start as
you mean to go on, clearly asserting your wishes and plans whenever possible and not encouraging suggestions that you know will eventually be turned down.
Being honest is the best policy all round.
Parents want things of their own, this is so stressful they are not your worst enemies; their reasons are that they love you and want what’s best for you.
Reminding yourself of the intention behind the source of conflict will help you realize that while you are getting stressed over the disagreement of certain issue pertaining to the wedding behind that disagreement, there is love and concern.
Eat right and take time to rest both of which can vastly improve energy levels, start drinking more water instead of caffeine and sugar-loaded liquids and reduce salt intake.
Caffeine, sugar and salt cause chemical reactions to your nervous system by making you jumpy,
nervous and high-strung so make sure you watch your consumption of these items.
Salt or sodium also helps your body retain water causing that bloating puffed-up feeling.
You must remember what your main goal is and that is to get married to the one you love most in the world. Setting expectations that are too high will create stress and lead to frustration and then more stress.
The best way to make sure that things don’t go wrong is to plan carefully, track faithfully and confirm diligently.
Your happiness in life does not hinge on the wedding alone, some believe in placing a tremendous emphasis on having a great wedding and not enough focus on having an awesome marriage.
It’s okay to be temporarily obsessed for the perfect wedding, you have to keep your eye on what’s truly important.
Step back and realise the most important part of the day is not the day itself, but that you walked down that aisle and into the arms of the one you love, the one you look forward to building your life with.
Simplicity in a wedding ceremony is much more beautiful than having too much, this helps keep stress levels down as well.
I’m gathering information on the Zambian weddings from 1964 to 2014, from the stories told the 1960’s, 70’s, 80’s wedding sound as if they were stress free.
We look forward to such write ups. For comments and contributions: Cell: 0966665468
Email: sunittasyabeene@yahoo.com