TAKING on the role of being the matron during the wedding is both a privilege and a big responsibility.
Matron and maid of honor have different titles but share similar tasks as they both assist the bride in organising and throughout the wedding preparations, they both make contribution on how the wedding will work out.
Some duties of a matron are executed and completed during the day of the wedding.
The wedding matron of honor must be married, woman of excellence, must be mindful about the occasion as it is a gathering of many people from all walks of life so it is important to dress modestly, must be wise and use common sense. She is also a personal shopper, a party planner that is if the bride and groom do not have a wedding planner, (the two can also work together) a matron is a counsellor and is like a personal assistant.
A matron must be a wife who has put her marriage home in order and her marriage must be that which you look up to. She must respect her husband, a role model in the community, when she opens her mouth to speak, words of wisdom must come out and a God fearing woman.
A wedding matron is also a mentor. Mentoring is an important tool that can help both brides and grooms gain information and lessons about how they can live happily ever after.
Having a matron as mentor can help both the couple to think things through and then consider all the options before making a decision.
Mentorship is more like the people who cheer you on, give support and hand you a bottle of water when you are running a marathon. Just when you think you might give up or fall over exhaustion, you are given sustenance to get you to the end and that you will never forget in life.
The Zambian weddings from 1960 to late 1980s had no matrons and they were memorable. This role became common in the 1990s because the flower girls, knife bearer and page boys were introduced to the bridal party.
This role has started fading away slowly, last year most wedding did not have matrons and this year that trend has continued.
Matrons have become very expensive; they are hired as a result so demanding they want money and on top of that one crate of beer or soft drinks, six-meter chitenge material (wax), attire for the wedding and reception venue and a chicken.
All these have come about because the matrons themselves and the organizers are ignorant about the role and duties that a matron should play at a wedding.
Matrons think their duty is to be with the flower girls and page boys; they believe they have to remind the children about the steps, and then sit at the head table, leaves the bride outside who really needs her, forgetting that the bride is the reason she is there.
The next time she is up is to receive the knife and dance along with the knife bearer.
A wedding matron of honour is needed by the couple throughout their marriage life that is why a matron should not be hired and it should not be a business whether you have been doing it 90 years it is wrong that time frame will not make it right. T
he senior citizens have also expressed concern over the hiring of wedding matrons, their attitude which is ‘don’t care type’, they are not playing their role as it should be so long they receive their payments which they demand that is they want.
Some have wedding every weekend, do not have time to assist the bride as they will meet with the bride and the bridal party a week before the wedding, they are no different from the invited guests.
Remember, a matron is a mentor and this continues, a token of appreciation is what should be given by the couple to the matron they choose. In most cases a token of appreciation is more than what one is asking for. It is typically not a position that should be taken lightly.
The wedding matron is expected to be the bride’s right-hand woman from the first day of planning until the bride set sail for her honeymoon; it is a continuous process as the matron is on the job always.
Brides have a lot of shopping to do and they don’t usually want to do thwis all by themselves. A wedding matron should accompany the bride on all requested shopping excursions that are wedding related.
Most important is dress shopping and accessory shopping along with all related fittings.
The matron is expected to co-host kitchen parties/ bridal showers must be the ones to initiate and organize all the planning. During these parties the matron should record which gifts are given by each guest, so that all gifts are kept safe.
The matron is also responsible for directing the bridesmaids during the wedding and reception. She makes the bridesmaids know where and when they need for dances, photos and other events.
Before the wedding the matron coordinates hair, makeup and nails with the bride and bridesmaids.
It is your duty and responsibility as a matron to look for the right hairdresser and make-up artist. In either help the bride on what to look for or search on your own one of the biggest tasks that you need to take in priority is to make the bride look fabulous.
Remember the stylists are going to be a great help in making you all ladies beautiful for the special occasion. It is then imperceptive to hire someone who can provide great services. The matron may even help coordinate travel arrangements, before and after the wedding accommodation for the bridesmaids.
The matron is a busy bee on the day of the wedding as she is supposed to help the bride with her gown during the ceremony and reception. The wedding matron of honor also makes sure everyone signs the guest book, makes sure the bride eats, holds the bouquet, that the gown fits well,the rings are bought in good time and the bride is comfortable at all times.
A list of matron of honor duties provides benefits in different ways, some of these benefits are to make your tasks easier to help you organise the things to do with a timeline and to become the best matron.
Always remember that the couple particularly the bride has chosen you to be their matron because they trust you and rely on you due to the great and close relationship you have with the bride, and your marriage never cease to amaze them.
It is anticipated that you do everything assigned to you with eagerness. It is a great privilege to be called as the matron so any
responsibilities that you need to accomplish for the wedding should be taken as a serious consideration.
When helping the bride with a wedding gown this is your chance to show off your creativity in style. As a woman, you must have a basic knowledge on how to select the right dress. Do not be shy to say no or to express your concerns on the gown the bride is choosing.
It may not look good at her as far as personality reference is concerned.
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