THERE may be times when you may feel seriously threatened or scared, trust your instincts. Escape any way you can. Use whatever resources necessary to get away. Scream. Fight. Slap and run.
But don’t wait for a real threat to occur; develop a plan of action before it happens. Think of it as a practice fire drill.  The time to find the exit is before the flames start.
Be accountable to someone. Choosing an accountability partner is a powerful deterrent to sex play.
An accountability partner is someone to whom you will be responsible for your conduct. A trusted friend, pastor, counselor, or teacher is a good choice.
One young woman went monthly to visit her boyfriend, who was a student at a college located some 500 miles away.
Since he lived in an apartment off campus, and they planned to be married, they slept in the same bed but tried to refrain from having sex.
Their tries were as successful as are ropes of sand until this couple chose an accountability partner, and she found another place to stay when she came for her visits.
Plan carefully.  Plan your dates carefully in advance. Before going out, know where you are going, who will be present, what activities are lined up for you to do, how you will get there, and what time you will return home.
If a date can’t provide this information or hesitates when asked– beware!  Dating should include a variety of interesting activities.
Time spent participating in activities should far outweigh time spent in spectator dates where you are being entertained. Plan a variety of fun activities where you will get to know your date’s likes and dislikes, total personality, values, goals, and beliefs.
In the early stages of a relationship, group dates are best. Although two of you are together, there is less stress.
This allows you to observe how your date interacts with others and his or her sense of humor. In a group you can size up your date faster than you ever could on 10 formal dates alone.
Among friends, your date will relax and be himself or herself. It cuts out “masking.” Group dating leaves room for friendship to grow, and makes it easier to maintain moral standards and prevent many dangerous “close encounters.”
Choose your dates with care.  Your relationships should be with those who are about your age, who have similar interests, ideals, and values.
Your best partners are likely to come from the circle of friends you have already established, those you know something about.
Avoid a blind date with someone you do not know or have never met unless it is arranged by a trusted friend.
And never date married persons (sugar daddies), those whose divorce is pending (they are still married), anyone who is drinking or drunk, drug users, and anyone not in a position to date you openly.
Don’t be so desperate that you would date twice someone who doesn’t measure up to your standards.  Remember, if you are a Christian date fellow Christians.
Avoid stimulating situations.  Avoid situations designed to stimulate sexual pleasure like being in a hotel room doing nothing but gazing at each other.  Activities like spending hours in the car cuddling, necking and fondling are very risky.
No one can continue to take such risks and beat the odds.  Single adults who live on their own must lay down strict guidelines regarding their deportment when entertaining opposite-sex partners.
Periods of cuddling and cooing in front of a cozy fire can lead to sexual intimacy as can candlelight dinners for two with romantic music and nothing else to do. Entertaining the opposite sex should always include another person or a group of people–just to be on the safe side.
Avoid settings that are sexually tempting, but also movies, TV, and videos that would encourage sinful desires and fantasies.
God would have us flee the “appearance of evil” (1 Thessalonians 5:22, KJV). We are not to flirt with temptation.  Once your limits are defined, stick to your guns. Regardless of how magic the moment, the mood, and the music, remind yourself of your chosen standards.
Permit renegotiation only in broad daylight, when passion has cooled, your accountability partner is present, and you have both the time and rationale to rethink your position.
Not only will this help you translate temptation into rational behavior, but it also allows you to keep intact a very precious commodity–your self-esteem. Having positive feelings about yourself is the most important factor in avoiding sexual involvement prior to marriage.
If you live up to your values, others will think highly of you, and inner conflicts will not tear you up inside.
You will respond to others’ opinions of you with personal integrity and self-confidence.
Your appearance, abilities, or social acceptance will not unduly worry you, leaving you freer to love, study, work, and play.
If you are going to practice abstinence from this day forward, you must first improve your feelings of worth.
When you truly see yourself as a valued child of God for whom Christ died, you will feel more capable of making hard choices that will benefit your future instead of weakening it.
An important part of your commitment to abstinence is relying on divine power.
Why! oh, why! will men and women who might be respectable and good and reach heaven at last sell themselves to the devil so cheap, wound their bosom friends, disgrace their families, bring a reproach upon                                                                         the cause, and go to hell at last? God have mercy!
Why will not those who are overtaken in crime manifest repentance proportionate to the enormity of their crime and fly to Christ for mercy and heal, as far as possible, the wounds they have made?
Ask your heavenly Father for His help to remain pure. If you and your date discuss and pray about your commitment to abstinence, it will produce a bond of conscience between you that can serve as a barrier against temptation.
Discuss your relationship in terms of “We three–God, you, and I.”  Not having sex outside of marriage is abstinence.
And it’s 100 percent guaranteed to work. You won’t get hurt, get a sexually transmitted disease (STD), get pregnant, or suffer a host of other ills.
You can choose abstinence any time, even when you’ve previously been sexually active.  Abstinence works! And it pays great dividends!
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