Breaking the silence on child sexual abuse
Published On November 15, 2021 » 1092 Views» By Times Reporter » Features
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Think of how we could save many perpetrators of Gender Based Violence (GBV) from prisons and the benefits of having a society that is free from oppression if we could all come out.
Like many viewers across the continent, I was glued to my television set, watching the lifetime documentaries about popular R&B singer and artiste Robert Kelly.
His music is what got the entertainment started off for my fellow peers in the early and late 90s as we danced at the teen time gig, variety shows and listened to radio stations playing his music.
The disappointment on most of his fans today still remains topical.
Who would have imagined that the celebrated music genius, who sold more than 30 million albums, wrote songs that hit the charts for many other musicians, was not only a child sexual offender, but also used his career to abuse young girls that wanted to excel in their music industry?
His verdict is described as one that would no longer burden innocent girls and young women on the point of adulthood with the weight of shame, humiliation, violence, isolation and disease.
The story of Robert Kelly brought more sadness as our last Sunday’s sermon in church by our student minister Francis Kasonde began with a familiar quote, “The silence of the righteous man increases evil in society.”
This gave me some insight into the manifestation of child sexual abuse that society is trying to address even as it struggles with the challenges of GBV and gender based sexual violence (GBSV).
Furthermore, the sermon reminded us of how the world today is characterised by different problems.
As a result, there is need for the Church to be an agent of liberation as many people continue to be oppressed.
This oppression has not only been physical, but emotional and psychological, and to some people, it is leading into depression, suicide and mental health.
The silence of the community on children and women going through all forms of abuse cannot go unnoticed.
The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child defines a child as a person below the age of 18 years.
Psychiatrists have observed how the scars of child abuse linger in the bodies of victims long after they have grown up, manifesting in physical symptoms that hint at their trauma.
With hindsight, the silence of child sexual abuse kept as a hidden problem and discussed and shelved as a secret in the minds of elders alone, still exists today.
A former student of psychology and education has observed how abuse in children has the potential consequences that can last a lifetime and span generations, with serious adverse effects on health, education and shape the interaction of the victim’s lifestyle in society.
NjiyeziNsama said with the recent cases of child abuse, which has also been visible at the University Teaching Hospitals (UTH) which has recoded 250 in the month of October alone, the situation must be a source of concern for everyone.
“Children depend on their parents to protect them and keep them safe while they grow and when a parent or people they trust as their custodians violate them in an abusive way, it destroys their trust in them,” MsNsama said.
She said child sexual abuse has one of the most severe forms of trauma owing to its possible adverse outcomes.
She said most of the mental health problems being seen in most of the youths are a result of abuse that some of them experienced.
MsNsama said the family and community reap what they sow in nurturing children.
She said whether abuse of a child is physical, psychological, emotional or sexual, it contributes to the change in the child’s life.
The Robert Kelly story is not different from what the Zambian scenario of child abuse is witnessing.
According to research, from age eight to 14, one boy was sexually abused by an older female family member and like most abused children, he never told anyone as he was too afraid and too ashamed.
At the age 10, the boy was sexually abused again by an older male who was a friend of the family.
Robert Kelly was not only sexually abused, but he experienced violence at the age of 11 when he was shot by boys from his community who were attempting to steal his bike, though it is believed that a family friend later stated that Kelly had shot himself while attempting suicide.
Despite being raised and told to have a powerful Christian faith by his mother, the abuse he experienced saw him surrounded with encounters that can be described as strange for a young boy growing up.
For instance, studies show that he wrote in his autobiography how at the age of eight, a date with a girlfriend turned tragic.
After fighting with some older children over a play area by a creek, his girlfriend was pushed into the water and swept downstream by a fast moving current while she screamed for him.
It is important to note that some people who were sexually abused during childhood have few outcomes once they grow that can take new forms in adulthood, affecting their careers, marital, spiritual and parental life.
MsNsama said a child who does not undergo any form of counseling to help them come out of the abuse experienced is more likely to abuse others as an adult and this is how abuse is passed down from one generation to the next.
“It is the same abused child who later marries and becomes a parent, wife, husband and leader in society and this turns into a cycle of GBV and child abuse that if not addressed, will continue to affect the development of society,” MsNsama said.
She said as people go about their lives in their homes, they should know that not opening up to engage children who experience any form of abuse, by helping them to seek counseling, affects their adulthood as has been seen in many cases.
She said society is facing challenges as a result of keeping silence.
From the scholars’ view point, to avoid repeating the mistakes of the past in families and society, there is need for people to speak openly and honestly about the breakdown of some families that not only includes child maltreatment and GBV, but also defilement and rape.
MsNsama said on sexual abuse, the African society needs to do more to invest in boys and girls capacity to transform the norms which give rise to sexual entitlement and rape.
“Similarly with other forms of abuse, we need the Church and schools to have counselors who can help identify children who may look like they are being oppression and abused,” she said.
There is need for a robust community awareness to be achieved by all stakeholders of GBV and child rights activists.
Further, child protection should not be a task that is delegated to the police, social services, school and Church alone.
It should be everyone’s responsibility.
jessiengm@gmail.com.

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