ROMANCE is a very good thing. It is a gift from God. The fact that it is good doesn’t mean that we can enjoy it whenever and with whoever we please. Like all the other good gifts God has made, romantic love has been abused by many people, both old and young, single and the married. Even the Song of Songs, reveals the ecstasy of romantic passion, is filled with reminders not to remove that passion from the boundaries of God’s timing and purpose “I charge you,” Solomon’s bride says, “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” We end up romancing because we get a feeling that we are in love. Who of us can describe that mysterious powerful urge of affection, which leads to romance? And guess what? Falling in love was God’s idea. He is the one who made us capable of experiencing romantic feelings. He is the one who gave us the ability to appreciate beauty and experience attraction, and He is the one who invented marriage and sex so that the blazing fire of romantic love could become something even more beautiful. There is need to match romantic love and wisdom. It doesn’t necessarily mean that we do the opposite of what we want. It means that we need to do what is best. Romance says, “I want it now!” Wisdom urges patience. “A man’s wisdom gives him patience.” The biggest mistake in romantic relationships that many make is that when they are in love they become impatient. Is this true in your life? Many feel that the only way they can express the love is by having sex right there and then. Some even say that, “If you refuse that’s a sign that you do not love me.” Patience is important not only for waiting for the right time to start a relationship, but also in allowing it to unfold at a healthful pace. Impatience rushes everything. It urges us to skip the time and attention a healthy friendship requires, and we jump right into emotional and physical intimacy. A young lady went out on her first date with a handsome man, she dived headfirst into an emotionally intimate relationship. They had gone out for dinner and afterwards stopped at the Café for fruit smoothies. Not being the shy type, the man confessed that he was attracted to the lady. She admitted that the feeling was mutual. What followed that flirtation exchange was a marathon tour of each other’s personal lives. Impatience put them on the first track. “We just instantly connected,” the young lady remembers. Everything came out in that first conversation. She poured her life, telling him about her struggles as a new Christian and about mistakes with ex-boyfriends. That evening, though they had known each other only a brief time, their conversation instantly threw their relationship into top gear which left the young lady pregnant. Today, this young lady deeply regrets for having been driven by impatience. A nurse once called this sort of thing an accident. The counsellor could not understand how a nurse who is an adult, who knows the anatomy of the human body, who fully understands the consequences could be led into calling this sort of thing an accident when she had a child out of wedlock. He told her, “Don’t worry, you are not the only one who is foolish, there are many, many more people like you.” Just because a couple is at a place in their lives where they can seriously consider marriage doesn’t mean that they should proceed recklessly. Let’s call a relationship like this “mishmash romance.” Just imagine you go into a good restaurant with someone who doesn’t have the patience to wait for each course of a meal to be served. The master chef has a wonderful plan that takes time to appreciate fully. But instead of enjoying each course individually, your date insists that all the courses – the drinks, the soup, the salads, the entrée, and the desert – be blended together into one bowl of mishmash. This is what many relationships are like today. Instead of savoring the “courses” of an unfolding love story, starting with acquaintance, friendship, courtship, engagement, marriage – impatient couples mash the sequence together. Before they have even known each other well, and before the thought of commitment, they are acting as though they own each other. Yes mishmash relationship, like mishmash food, is an unappetising mess. Wisdom calls us to slow down. We need to be patient because God expects us to, and we know that He is faithful. “I wait for you, O Lord; you will answer, O Lord my God.” Psalm 38:15. Patience is an expression of trust that God, the master Chef, can serve up an exquisite relationship. We can be faithful and content right where we are — whether it’s in friendship or courtship or engagement, do not steal the privileges God has reserved for a later season. Time is God’s way of keeping everything from happening all at once. If you are not ready to get married, don’t go into a relationship. Patiently wait for the right time to start one that eventually leads to marriage. If you are ready for marriage and you’re in a relationship, don’t let impatience cause you to rush. Don’t settle for “mishmash.” Romance and the gift of sexuality are blessed by God when exercised within the bonds of marriage. It’s in the Bible, “Let your manhood be a blessing; rejoice in the wife of your youth. Let her charms and tender embrace satisfy you. Let her love alone fill you with delight.” Remember the way of sin is to try to separate feelings from commitment. In Proverbs, foolishness is portrayed as a wicked seductress who lures her victim with the offer of romantic and sexual pleasures devoid of responsibility. It seeks intimacy without obligation. The problems we see in relationships today is due to impatience, the lack of purpose, and the misguided emotions, are all expressions of foolishness. Do not let feeling decide what happens, but let wisdom lead you to a purposeful relationship. The human body may be likened to a musical instrument. Even though beautiful and of the highest quality, such an instrument is not capable of producing music unless it is played by someone who has skill as a musician. And a player develops this kind of skill only after long periods of training and practice. Similarly, in order for a husband and wife to develop a rewarding degree of compatibility in the physical realm of marriage, there must be a consistent effort by each partner to develop understanding and skill in those methods of sexual expression which are most pleasing and which bring the highest degree of personal satisfaction. Are you patient? If not do something. For comments; Email: brysonkatele@yahoo.com Cell: +260977 772697; +260975 772697