The control tower or commanding centre is a place of instruction and direction to ensure safety and security of the air transport system.
Just imagine for an instant what would happen to a busy airport like Heathrow in London, England if the control tower gave conflicting instructions and directions, think of the scale of damage that would befall not only London but the entire globe.
Or do you think that an army whose commander’s orders are modified and twisted by his deputies along the chain of command would prevail in any battle?
In the same way every command centre cannot afford but be seamless in the way the operate because the success of the operations thereof actually depends on this aspect of things; Not only to be but to be seen to be consistently coherent with the guidance and orders  given.
Command in today`s world is a resented word and sounds  quite harsh in a way,  partly because those who have had the right to command abused and misapplied it but that does not negate need for command wherever authority has to be exercised (including parenting).
Parenting typifies some kind of control tower or commanding centre-arrangement and as such dads and moms ought to transmit signals and messages to their sons and daughters that indicate oneness, togetherness and  a cohesive approach from both of them otherwise disorderliness and chaos will reign. Mums and dads cannot afford to undo themselves or pull in opposing directions or even be seen to do so as they strive to parent well.
Where the parental-control tower is non-functional or dysfunctional the children could exploit this weakness cunningly, let us say, a child wants to do something mischievous they will likely bounce it off the parent they know to be easily permitting and less inquisitive, that could be either of the parents and when the child is brought into questioning by the other party they would quickly exonerate themselves to say they asked dad or mum and he or she gave them a go ahead, this could further degenerate into  avoidable blame- fights  in a home and consequently a loss of focus on how to direct as should be the case .
Children can actually get confused as to what values their parents espouse because they (parents) keep undoing each other.
Let us consider a scenario where dad does not believe and would not permit his teenage daughter to go out to a school gig whilst on the other hand, the mum feels this (the dad`s philosophy) is an outdated and a very old fashioned way to bring up a child.
Instead she goes with the thinking that the child must be given sufficient exposure to life and allowed to settle for that which is suitable for him or her.
No doubt the both mean well for their child, the want her to enjoy life per se except the do not seem to share the same comprehensive system of beliefs on what enjoyment means.
As a command centre of their homes parents should try hard and make sure that the speak the same language this can only happen if both of them have  rehearsed and agreed as to what parental philosophy or basic values they are to adopt.
Indeed methods and styles might be poles apart but the principles must be seamless or at least be seen to be so.
It also vital as far as it is possible for parents to avoid disagreements or arguments in the face of their children as to what course of action they will take this like in the previous case is an energy-supping endeavour.
Parents might want to try out a referral system; For example a child might ask the mother for permission to go out to a friend’s home for a sleep over the mother will do well to ask her to talk it over with the dad even when she knows full well what the answer might be…this way communication flow a home is enhanced.
Parents need to not to only be in agreement with each other  be but  as much as possible strive to be constituent in what the stand for, what was black yesterday should not be navy blue the following day or gray the day after.
Yet again, if there is genuine reason amendment and adjust they (parents) should not hesitate to so… what is cardinal is to make children understand why such a change has been necessitated.
Reality has it that every plane no matter how complicated and sophisticated will need to depend on the control tower  for harmonious flight in the skies so does every child look their dad and  mom  give command, counsel and instruction to soar fearlessly in the skies of  life.
The onus is on every parent as with the control tower not to give carelessly misleading or conflicting signals and messages or else we jeopardize the lives of our beloved children.
The author Tenda Kamba, is a Parent and Sunday school teacher. For questions and comments email; tendakamba@yahoo.com or call 0962 843443