The art of self-acclaim in the hood
Published On September 13, 2014 » 1568 Views» By Davies M.M Chanda » Features
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In the bronx logoIt was not until Maria, the matriarch of the women’s emancipation front was chided out of a race for a lucrative Mumbwa farmer that truth came to the fore.
Lazzo had come to learn that the erstwhile female colleague was rapidly becoming a victim of social stigma.
It seemed, the older generation was more gullible to the spread of propaganda than the younger generation that appeared much better informed.
Someone was peddling an assertion that Maria was the first one to contract the latest virus in the hood!
After a shopping spree in the city, the farmer decided on a sudden retreat to a township lodge but needed Lazzo’s help to get round the problem of a partner for the weekend.
The usual rigmarole of more rounds at the table followed as the atmosphere was akin to celebrating life itself!
In the maze of socialising, Maria appeared to have stolen the farmer’s heart and was headed for the title of ‘Queen of the hood’ that night.
Maria’s friend with a penchant for gossip reclined her mouth to the farmer’s ear and warned him… “Do not try to go for her (gesturing with her eyes towards Maria) purported to have contracted the latest virus called ‘Ebola’.
She said this as soon as Maria was out of sight and headed for the ladies room amid loud music reverberating from the usual pair of gigantic speakers.
From then on, the farmer’s attitude changed   to ‘lukewarm response’ and Maria instantly realised this as she possessed that unique extra-sensory perception of someone on the hunt!
Lazzo had heard from the grapevine that most women had this sense which made them manipulate the malefolk with ease!
Most men had a rigid sense of belonging and took too long to realise what was on about.
In fact, Lazzo’s mentor had given an example of how women would easily catch a man in love than vice-versa!
“Lazzo, if I told you that I found your missus flirting in the hood, you would probably not believe me outright even when the writing is on the wall for all to see,” he had said to Lazzo.
“Yes, but I also think that some women are also naïve to a large extent because they seem to be easily duped.  Look at our own Maria, you have seen how she has fared in the hood!,” he further exclaimed.
He went on to explain how Maria by virtue of her background, had no sense of class.  Once, it was rumoured that a pirate taxi driver duped her into believing that  he owned the car when in fact he was glued to the act of ‘cashing’ the owner of the vehicle.
But Lazzo had also seen that there had been a tendency to impress women by some of the men like Lazzo’s mentor who had been seen cruising a company vehicle which had no inscriptions and posing like he bought it!
He observed that the superficiality in the city had made many to join the fast lane of life which was fraught with pretence.
As for the likes of Maria, as long as there was commitment to paying rent and providing the daily needs, she was game.
As the evening lapsed, the farmer had struck a relationship with Maria’s neighbour and deep down her heart, she knew what this meant and it amounted to a loss of monetary gratification above all!
This was in effect the life cycle of Maria and her friends in the hood.  In fact, many of them tended to be so eloquent about how they live one would think they had no remorse for being considered wayward by the average moralist.
Their major preoccupation was really appraising potential clients and knowing who was about to retire or one who had already retired.
It was once rumoured that one of Maria’s friends even made copies of her hubby’s   retirement package and discussed this as they played cards in the hood.
An old English adage postulates that ‘when the cat is away,’ the mice play and this took place while hubby was busy at work when resolutions on his money were being discussed in dingy drinking houses of the hood.
Lazzo mentor also had an ear to the ground and information filtered out as to what was going to happen in the next  few months as the package got ready.
Lazzo’s mentor figured out that there would be a scramble for his money and he did not want to come to terms with confrontation over his hard-earned cash.
Since he was merely cohabiting in the hood, he thought it was a dangerous proposition to let Maria have a long hard into the looming cash.
When he absconded from the home he shared with Maria, there was speculation that he had called it quits because of selfish reasons.
But he recalled that he had never been so annoyed with the attitude of  scrutinising papers related to his incoming bonanza!
Then it finally became a cat and mouse chase as Maria organised hoodlums to hunt him down and give him a good hiding if found.
However, Lazzo’s mentor had left the hood and headed for the outskirts of the city where he hoped to start on a different note.  It was like he was striking a different chord on a guitar!
Lazzo’s story was one seldom told and he had heard many versions of his runaway escapades some of which were exaggerated beyond measure because they were mostly spiced with malice!
Once in while, he would bump into someone speaking loudly about his yesteryear money and he would wonder what business they had with it since he never bothered  these self-acclaimed know-it-all analysts.
Still waters run deep, decreed another English saying and after all was said and done, he noticed that some critics secretly wished they had helped  Lazzo’s  mentor to spend the colossal sum!
But the disappointment seemed to linger on in their hearts that they were never availed a chance to share the spoils with the privileged earner.
Lazzo’s mentor drew the conclusion that like the farmer who had lured Maria’s friend to the township lodge, he was equally inclined to vulnerability!

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