I hope you are doing well despite this never ending heat which will not let up.

In a perfect world, this weather would translate to a vacation somewhere with lots of water and martinis but (sigh) a girl can dream huh.

This week I look at a topic, which we never really think of, but is probably much necessary now in these increasingly cosmopolitan times; dressing for funerals.

Yes, it sounds dreary but I had two emails (coincidentally) from Carina Black who lives in London but is visiting her husband’s family on the proper attire for her to wear at a funeral.

Side note: Carina has been following my blog divadiarys.blogspot.com and is a newlywed who is keen not to offend her relatives with improper funeral decorum (double points for making an effort).

Then Natasha Mwansa from within Zambia says: “I know it’s customary to wear Chitenge but are there any other style tips so that even though am decent I still look classy and elegant.”

There are many rules of thumb to consider when going to a funeral.

First understand that decent and respectful does not mean dowdy, boring or tasteless. Secondly, understand that looking classy does not mean being the beaming centre of attention. It is not your show!

In Zambia, traditionally, Chitenge are worn at funerals, understand that and invest in one they are literally found everywhere so buy a two-meter cotton or soft wax one.

Bear in mind that in Zambian funerals, women sit on the floor usually so wear a Chitenge in a colour and fabric that is easy to dust off especially if you are sleeping at the funeral house.

Gentlemen, my advice is that wear black pants, and plain coloured shirts, or T-shirts.

As a gentleman, if you are sleeping at the funeral it is necessary that you carry warm clothes because we all know males sleep outside at funerals and usually on chairs. Therefore, wearing warm comfortable clothes or carrying a scarf, head sock or little throw over will be appropriate.

Generally women are required to cover their hair at funerals although this is not a very strict rule. I do know from my own experience that whenever I never covered my hair my grandmother would ask where my chitambala (headscarf) is.

This tradition is common in many cultures; perhaps you have noticed how in the west they wear hats to funerals.

It is not just an ancient African tradition, but it is there in the east, the west, and here in Africa.

Many contrasts in colour exist around the world and Zambia is now a cosmopolitan culture so if you are going to an East Asians funeral remember that they wear white because in their cultures it is symbolic of death.

Of course the west’s influence has altered this but try to remember that for the Chinese red symbolises happiness (hence their red wedding dresses) and so would be highly offensive if worn to a funeral. So do not wear Chitenge with any red in it, not even red lipstick.

In terms of makeup, keep it simple, BB Cream or foundation and a nude lipstick or lipgloss, if you don’t want to look pale then add a bit of blush (a bit being the key word here).

Try and avoid eye makeup especially if you know that you will cry, otherwise generally just go for subdued natural looking makeup.

I know it is hot and that you need sunglasses so for a funeral opt for sunglasses and leave the stunners at home.

Stunners are sunglasses that are generally massive, fancy or with lots of embellishment, just pick something simple that fulfils its purpose and that is it.

In terms of shoes, please wear flat shoes like ballet pumps, or not very high wedges or kitten heels but bear in mind that this is Africa you need to walk from your car to the burial site and if you are not family you will stand so flat shoes will do for you.

Ladies, it is required for you to cover your shoulders at a funeral,

although that applies to gentlemen as well.

If you are sleeveless, a shawl or bolero (the short sleeved jackets that go up to your breastbone) will do.

Gentlemen you basically have it easy when going for burials but remember that it is better to wear muted colours like a black shirt or white one with a black tie.

Leave the pink tie with a giraffe at home please.

To conclude let me say that you must not strive to make a grand entrance; it is not the occasion for you to show off that great dress, it is not an occasion to shine but to show respect.

But this does not mean you should look dowdy, invest in fitting dresses to wear beneath the Chitenge at funerals.

Why do we buy clothes for special events, so at least have three outfits just for funerals and a great black hat for the burial.

That’s it have a great weekend.

Remember to email me at divadiarys@gmail.com and read more on my blog at divadiarys.blogspot.com, follow me on twitter @Arushapot and on Facebook Nancy Handabile.

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