ONE stay-at-home mum had a horde of male dependents under her roof. While her own children were still toddlers, the other members of the predominantly male household were in their teens.
She would cook and clean, but all the boys knew was to eat and leave the mess of left-overs for the owner of the house to clear away.
After she complained about their attitude, the response she got was that at their parents’ homes, (they were a collection from the extended family unit), boys did not cook or clean.
Cooking and cleaning, they said, was solely dedicated to the female members of the household.
To teach them a lesson about gender stereotyping and the importance of sharing chores, she cooked lunch which she dished out as usual. The boys ate and left the plates on the table.
The stay-at-home mum did not clear the table as well. In the evening, she cooked supper and dished it out on the same dirty left-over plates from lunch that the boys had refused to clean.
The following day the plates were cleared and washed by the boys after the unorthodox lesson.
They had also learnt that chores did not respect gender. A home needed to be clean and would be kept clean not by girls or boys but all members of the household.
In society, people never want to deal with square personalities basically because they are rigid, stubborn and not open to new ideas.
Generally, well rounded individuals are liked and are easy to work with. Any parent/guardian has the responsibility to nature children that are well-rounded.
For instance, when picking a school, a parent or guardian might consider if cooking classes are inclusive of both genders. It is unlikely that a male child who has learnt to cook from school and at home will survive on bread and eggs in college.
One can also ask if a school allows girls to take up lessons in industrial arts. A girl with knowledge about the industrial arts will not need to help to replace a burnt out fuse in a gadget at home.
Parents must include children of both genders in home activities like picking vegetables from the garden and helping prepare family meals.
They can, depending on age, be given tasks like chopping tomatoes, onions or vegetables before graduating to actual cooking.
Having a plan for everyday household chores that includes all members of a household will teach children a great life lesson.
Chores help children learn responsibility and gives parents much needed help around the house.
However, they are some pitfalls to avoid when it comes to chores.
Don’t insist on perfection. Allow room for sloppy or shoddy work. They are kids after all and it takes time to perfect anything.
There will be dishes that will still appear greasy after a hand wash and vegetables that will look like they were hacked with a machete. Smile and commend them for the effort.
Don’t delay. No matter how small, a child who you can communicate with is old enough to help around the house. Even if means they will just take the plate they ate from the table to the kitchen sink. It is a start.
Be generous when dolling out praise. Don’t wait until the chore is done. Praise and encourage the child while work is in progress.
A key point is to ensure that each child has an age appropriate chore.
For instance, ages two to three can put away toys and pile up books.
Ages four to five can help set and clear the table. Children aged between six and seven can sweep floors and rake leaves, while those between eight and nine can prepare simple meals like a bowl of corn flakes or a bread and peanut butter sandwich and make their beds.
Kids who are 10 and older can also cook simple meals and help babysit younger siblings.
In our Zambian society, this is the right age to teach them how to cook nshima and simple relish recipes to go with it.
Even when a family can afford house help, parents need to make sure their children start learning to fend for themselves from an early age.
No one likess a square, we all want well rounded individuals around us regardless of gender. For comments and contributions email: norma.siame@gmail.com