IT is pleasing to see how wives usually support their husbands and always want to see them succeed in life.
Wives have in many instances contributed to the success of their husbands and their families and because of the support they have always rendered, families lead better lives.
In fact 99 out of 100, wives are proud of their husbands no matter what status they may have in society.
To this effect, there is a saying: To every successful man there is a woman.
Could the same be said that to every successful woman there is a man?
Indeed, while it is common for women supporting their husbands to success, men have usually been known to be very indifferent to their wives.
In some instances, husbands have been known not to support their wives in their ventures.
Some husbands do not even entertain the idea of having their wives in employment.
Recently, I was in Mansa District,Luapula, where I had gone to visit my nieces who reside there.
Three days of being there, my nieces were getting me some take away Castle Lite which I used to drink from home.
I don’t usually enjoy drinking from home and it was on the fourth day when one of my nieces called her daughter to go and buy some take aways for me.
Before the girl could go, I said to my niece that I was bored staying at home and I suggested that I would take a walk around and would have the beer when I come back.
My niece dipped in her hand bag and pulled a K100 note which she gave me and said I could use the money to book a cab if I was going into town.
Booking a cab going into town! The residential area my nieces reside in is just a stone’s throw from the district business centre and unless I was not fit, I could not book a cab.
But I did not refuse to get that K100 note. I got the money and I did not go to town. Instead, I went to the nearest bar  from home. After all it was getting late.
I got into the bar and looked around to see if there was anyone I knew here to keep me company although I did not expect to find any one all the way from Ndola.
I got to the counter and got myself a beer before I settled on a table. In front was a TV set and there was a football match taking place between two English league teams.
I was drinking my beer and watching the game when I heard a female voice behind me saying in Nyanja:” Yai a sisi, sinizabwelelako kunyumba kuja. Amuna anga ni o vuta. (No my sister, I won’t go back to that home.
My husband is a very difficult man).
I turned to see who was saying that. I found that there were three women, probably in their 40s, seated on the table behind me.
Then I heard another voice reply in the same language that it was wrong for her to just desert her husband when they had four children who needed their attention and support.
As an eavesdropper, I wanted to hear more. I wanted to know why that woman did not want to go back home to her husband but I was not in company of these women and there was no way I was going to ask any question concerning their topic.
I kept my fingers crossed and hoped that the woman would continue telling her colleagues, or was it her sisters, why she was not willing to go back home.
Then the woman who spoke earlier continued  insisting that she would not go back to her husband because if she did, she would never prosper in her life and she would not be able to assist her relatives because her husband was jealousy and he did not allow her to do anything which was progressive.
I thought this woman had a good tale to tell.
Her husband was jealousy and did not allow her to do anything progressive? Why was it so?
For all I know, husbands and wives need to work together if their families were to be happy ones.
But like I have said earlier, many women are very supportive of their husbands and I see no reason why some men had negative attitudes towards their wives.
It was while I was pondering over this when the other woman advised the one who was protesting that the best she could do was to go back to her husband and if she did not want to get back, she should sue for divorce.
The other woman insisted that she would not go back and if her sister did not want to stay with her, she would look for a house to rent, after all she had started work within Mansa and she would not fail to pay rent.
It was then that she told her sister the happenings at her home.
According to her, she had been in marriage with her husband for the past 15 years but she had not enjoyed her marriage life because her husband was cruel and opposed anything positive that she did for the betterment of her and her family’s future.
She explained that she was a hard working woman who could have been very successful by now if her husband was supportive but she was always lagging behind because her man did not want to see her succeed in life.
The woman said she got married in 2000 and the two were living on a farm  her husband inherited from his late father.
Her husband has never been in employment but earns his living from the property his late father left – houses which he put on rent and other businesses.
The woman narrated that to supplement the income at home, she started doing business by going to South Africa and Botswana where she ordered goods for sale, but her husband stopped her saying he did not want her to be moving alot.
“I stopped going to South Africa and Botswana and started another kind of business.
I bought a block making machine and started making blocks.
I was making a lot of money out of this business, but my husband was not happy.
He stopped me and told me that this was not my place to do such kind of business,” she explained.
“Yai, amulamu ni ovuta,” (no our brother in-law is difficult), said another woman who appeared to be the youngest among them.
I pretended to concentrate on watching the match on TV in case I was discovered to be eavesdropping.
My beer was running low and because I did not want to miss what the woman was saying, I did not want to go to the counter to buy more beer for myself, but fortunately, I saw one of the women beckon the bar man to bring three beers to their table.
It was when the bar man had brought the beers to the women that I also gave him money to bring me three Castle Lite.
Then the young woman who had commented that her brother in-law was a difficult man, contributed to the topic.
Apparently, she at one time stayed with her sister and brother in-law and experienced the hardships her sister was going through.
The young sister revealed that her brother in-law was so cruel that he at one time slashed the tomatoes and cabbages which her elder sister was growing at the farm.
“This woman is very strong and hard working.
She used to grow tomatoes and cabbages at the plot and marketeers used to come to order from her.
She was making a lot of money out of growing vegetables.
“But one day, our brother in-law came in a  bad mood and slashed the tomatoes and cabbages saying the farm was not her place for her to be doing business,” explained the woman’s young sister.
I thought that was very cruel for the man to do.
Meanwhile, one of the teams we were watching on TV scored and there was a lot of noise in the bar disturbing the conversation I was so much interested to listen to.
When the noise subsided, I heard the woman continue with her sad story.
“You know sister; the friends I used to go with to South Africa and Botswana to do business are very well off now.
They have built houses for themselves and they have bought nice cars.
I could not build a house for myself or family because of my husband.
Even when I bought a vehicle from Botswana, my husband was not happy and so I took the car back to Francis Town in Botswana where it is being kept by a friend. What kind of a husband is that?
“I even fail to support my relatives because of my selfish husband.
As long as I continue living with him, I will not achieve anything in life and so I have made up my mind never to go back to that man,” said the woman.
As the woman who appeared to be her elder sister started to say something, two men who were smartly dressed walked  in and pulled chairs to join the women.
They greeted the three women who welcomed them cheerfully.
“Shani mulamu!,”one of the men greeted the woman telling the story and I deduced he was either the husband or boyfriend to her elder sister.
I knew then that the story the woman was telling would not continue, but then, I had eavesdropped enough.
I felt pity for the woman. Why should a husband feel jealous of his own wife who was striving hard to make ends meet and better the life of the family?
I was left wondering.
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