DEAR Josephine
I AM married to a very beautiful woman and we have two children. The problem is that she is too religious and respects the Pastor at our church more than me.
She calls the clergyman a ‘man of God’ and believes in whatever he says on how she should pray, fast and tithe. As a Christian myself, I don’t seriously consider this to be wrong.
What I am detesting is his calls at awkward times to pray for her. I have not confronted my wife about her closeness with the Pastor. I feel she will tell him if I confronted her about it. What should I do?
Maybin
Mumbwa
Dear Maybin
I would suggest that you confront your wife right away and tell her about your misgivings. Remember she is your wife and her loyalty should be to you.
If she continues being associated with the Pastor instead of you, the Pastor’s wife has a right to intervene.

Dear Josephine
I come from a polygamous tribe. Recently, I visited my uncle in the village who told me at my age (55), I need another woman. My uncle who has three women said having one woman is untraditional and unacceptable at my age.
I dismissed the concern as selfish but after coming back, I am looking at my wife in a new light and thinking of marrying another woman. Is this feeling normal?
HM
Lusaka

Dear HM
Of course the feeling is abnormal, selfish and shallow. Don’t use tribal customs concerning marriage to justify your stance. Your uncle is a primitive man. I suggest you ignore his advice and continue with your wife.

Dear Josephine
I am married to a very traditional woman who is influenced by her aunt who is equally traditional. Last week, I discovered that she has started wearing waist beads.
I confronted her about the beads but she called me childish and naive. To tell you the truth, I find waist beads to be primitive, even demonic. What should I do?
Kombe
Kabwe
Dear Kombe
I can see you have made up your mind that since your wife is traditional, whatever she does in that area displeases you.
If the waist beads are traditionally meant to make her look attractive, I don’t see any reason you should get worried. Sit her down in a less combative way and discuss the issue once and for all.

Dear Josephine
Last year, my wife sued me for being too possessive. The case was tried in a local court in Kapiri Mposhi. The presiding justice ruled that I shouldn’t police my wife and made me look stupid in court by giving me a lecture on how to live with a woman. He reconciled and advised us to live in harmony.

Surprisingly, people are telling me that they have been seeing my wife with the presiding justice on several occasions. Last week, I saw my wife with the presiding justice at a shopping mall. I wanted to confront them but desisted since I don’t have enough evidence against them. When I asked my wife about my suspicion, she said there was nothing between her and the presiding justice. What should I do?
Jackson
Kapiri Mposhi

Dear Jackson
I feel the same problem your wife dragged you to court is haunting you. In my view, you are still a possessive man who is suspicious of every man your wife talks to.
Since there is no evidence that your wife is having an affair with the presiding justice, there is no need to be jealous.

Dear Josephine
I broke up with my boyfriend two months ago.
Since then we’ve just been texting each other and meeting once in a while.
However, a man has appeared in my life who wants to marry me. The problem is that I am still attached to my boyfriend whom I still love. What should I do?
Mildred
Chingola

Dear Mildred
What you are doing is called double crossing both your boyfriend (since you haven’t detached yourself from him) and the man who wants to marry you.

I suggest you ditch your boyfriend once and for all and move on with the man who wants to marry you.

Send queries to tellmejosephine@gmail.com