DEAR Josephine
I am a 16-year-old school girl who is poor in Mathematics. For the past year I’ve been visiting my teacher for extra lessons, but what actually happens is we just have sex.
I honestly don’t know how it all started, but I now pay him K20 every other Friday so that my aunt can prove that he is giving me some lessons. I feel equally thrilled and guilty about this. Moments after leaving his house I feel terrible, but then I can’t stop. What should I do?
School girl
Kafue
Dear school girl
I wish we had handwriting experts to trace this letter and find the culprit. As far as I am concerned, the Ministry of Education has banned extra lessons although some teachers have defied this ban.
I would suggest you report this teacher to your parents or anybody who can help. To tell you the truth, it will free your mind from this abuse which will haunt you for the rest of your life. Report the monster now and discontinue the ‘extra’ lessons.

My boyfriend is too stingy
Dear Josephine
My boyfriend is so stingy. He is always claiming to have forgotten his purse, leaving me to pay the majority of any bar or restaurant bills.
Last week, I moved in his bed sitter. It was a mistake since it is me who is paying the rent. He has got an excuse not to pay every month. Since he wants to marry me, should I go ahead and accept his proposal?
Gwen
Ndola
Dear Gwen
I would suggest you give this man an alternative: Either he should be responsible financially or you end the relationship. Marriage is a serious institution which calls for monetary responsibility.
I am afraid the signs of monetary irresponsibility are showing in your relationship.

His family wants children.
Dear Josephine
My husband’s family makes me feel like a freak because I don’t have children. I’m 34, my husband and I are very happy together and we plan to stay exactly as we are.
What upsets me is that his family seems to think I’m somehow anti-children. Recently, even my four-year-old niece asked, “Don’t you like me?” I found that distressing and unfair, as I’ve tried to be generous and loving. How do I counter this criticism?
Mwansa
Lusaka
Dear Mwansa
You haven’t told me why you don’t have children. Is it a physiological or psychological problem? As for your husband’s family, I would suggest you discuss this with your husband since he is the closest link with his family.

I fear hubby is having an affair…

Dear Josephine
Before I married my husband, I studied his likes religiously just to please him. This included films, food, colour and even the beers.
This somehow became an obsession for me to an extent of studying the women he had dated before me. I discovered that he likes light-skinned girls who are tall. I am also light skinned and tall.
Of late, I have been seeing him with a light-skinned and tall woman whom he works with. Immediately, I discovered this my life has changed, making me extremely jealousy.
However, I am afraid of confronting him lest it comes out that there is no relationship. What should I do?
Mable
Lusaka

Dear Mable
As a psychologist myself, I beg to disagree with your investigations to discover what your husband likes, including women.
It is most likely to be a coincidence and should not be the basis for your jealousy.
I am made to believe that there are several light-skinned and tall women at your husband’s work place, in his family, church and neighbourhood.
Can we conclude that he is in love with all of them?

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