INSULTS are words, remarks or actions that are said or done in order to offend.
Many people feel very offended by insults to an extent that they fail to control themselves when insults are showered on them.
But unfortunately, some people, especially men, use unpalatable words to offend those they have differed with and because many cannot stand insults, they have ended up fighting  or at times  injuring and killing those who insult them.
While in many cases men insult each other, it is usually regarded as taboo for a man to insult a woman or a woman to insult a man.
Many Gender Based Violence (GBV) cases are as a result of domestic squabbles between wives and husbands, but there are GBV issues which happen because of insults.
Although it goes without saying that most GBV cases are peculiar to husbands and wives or boy friends and girl friends, the offences are committed even by people who are not intimate such as brothers and sisters, fathers and daughters, mothers and sons, uncles and nieces and aunties and nephews or simply any such violence involving females and males who may be related or not related.
In many instances, it is women  who are victims of GBV and it is they who usually report the cases to the police.
However, a man who was assaulted by a woman for insulting her rushed to the police post to report the case as a GBV one.
After a long spell without visiting the Chifubu Recreation Club in Ndola , I recently decided to pass by the place to have ‘one or two’.
I found myself a place by the counter where I pulled a stool and sat on my usual corner.
Being a weekend, Friday to be specific, a number of friends who are regulars in this club were already there and it seemed they had started drinking early because they looked sozzled.
The time was around 19.00 hours but it looked like very late in the night as the place was lit with candles and lamps as a result of load-shedding which has become part of life not only in Zambia but in some other countries as well.
Since the place was scantly patronised, I thought some other regulars were either at their homes or elsewhere where there was power.
It was while I was thinking like this when one man I was seated close to complained about some members of the club who are in the habit of using unpalatable language.
The man lamented that it was unfortunate that elderly people who were supposed to be exemplary in their behavioUr were using insults as a ‘normal’ way of communication each time they were discussing issues.
“It is not right for elderly people to be insulting each time they are here. This is a club and discipline should be observed,” complained the man.
I had not been at the club in a long time and I did not know which elders he was referring to. Another man chipped and said that it was for this reason that a woman known as Banakulu  who sells snacks at the club ended up at the  police station after she beat up a Mr … (name withheld) another member of the club because he was using bad language.
On hearing that the woman beat up the man, people who were drinking burst out laughing.
I didn’t know why they were laughing but the woman who was in the club at the time told us that she had received a police call-out the following day after she beat up the man.
A woman beating a man for insulting her! Which man was beaten by this woman? I wondered as an eavedropper.
Apart from selling snacks, Banakulu (grandmother) also at times serves at the counter.
Had this woman any nerve to beat a man? I had known this woman to be a cheerful and friendly lady and I did not imagine her involving herself in fights, especially in a drinking place where she was so well known.
The man, who commended the woman for beating up the man, explained that the man deserved the beating because of his unpalatable words.
“Ba … balibatoba amapi ububi sana,” (Mr … was badly slapped) the man said and this ignited more laughter.
Just as I was wondering which man had been slapped by the woman and why, I heard another man ask why she was insulted.
It was then that I heard the woman who was allegedly insulted say she was forced to beat the man because he had used foul language on her in English describing her as a mother f ….
“I have heard people including children using this insult in English although it does not sound so bad in this language. But in our African language, this is a very bad and big insult. It was even worse for the man to direct that insult at me as a woman. Limbi tabaishiba efyo cipilibula muchibemba. Tabaishiba ukuti iyi ninsele iikulu sana,” (maybe he doesn’t know what this means in Bemba. He doesn’t know that this is a very big insult in our language), the woman said as the patrons broke out in  wild laughter.
The woman said immediately the man uttered the insult, she did not know what made her get to her feet and at lightening speed, slapped the man on the face.
The woman explained that the man who seemed not to know what had hit him fled and never came back to drink in the club that night.
But in the morning around 10.00 hours the following day, the man came back to the club with a police call out which he handed to the woman.
“I did not know that he would report that I beat him. I wonder whether he told the police why I beat him,” she said.
She explained that people who were present when the man was handing her the police call out pleaded with him to go and withdraw it because it would be embarrassing to have a woman he insulted arrested.
But even after pleading with him, the man did not withdraw the call out and at 14.00 hours, the woman went to the police post where she had been asked to go.
She said when she reached the police post, she was asked where the man who had reported her was, but before she could reply, the man walked in.
“The police were surprised to see how hefty the man I had beaten was. They thought I didn’t look like someone who could beat someone with that physic,” said the woman.
She said she explained to the police why she was bitter with the kind of insults the man had poured on her forcing her to beat him up and the police agreed with her but warned her that next time an incident like that happened, it was better for her to report to the police instead of taking the law in her own hands.
“The police also warned the man not to use insults whenever he was in conflict with anyone and we were asked to reconcile with one another,” explained the woman.
However, for a long time, it has been common in many places to find men and  not women using unpalatable language in the public .
Recently, a man in Mansa, Luapula Province, was jailed after he insulted a woman who reported him to police.
The man wailed uncontrollably when the court sentenced him.
With the ever increasing number of people who go about insulting any how in public, there is need by the powers that be to do something to correct the situation.
Insults are certainly not the best way  to settle disputes.
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