THEY say it takes two to tango, and this surely applies to prostitution which is the oldest profession that is erroneously attributed to women, with men being exonerated from the immoral act.
Even the word prostitution which means the practice or occupation of engaging in sexual activity with someone for payment is more associated with women than men.
Very few people have heard of what is called male prostitution which is the act or practice of men providing sexual services in return for payment.
There has been so much talk on prostitution (referring to women) with no one talking about who sustains this profession.
Despite the deadly effects of the disease and the social stigma attached to it, men still go out to buy sex irrespective of their marital status.
In Lusaka, it is common to see some men, especially on Fridays driving slowly around the popular spots like Addis Ababa and Lagos roads to buy sex.
While not condoning prostitution, society should acknowledge the role men play in the oldest profession.
According to research men buy sex for a myriad of reasons among them feeling that they are ugly and unable to have sex without paying for it.
Some men also want sex without all of emotional involvement that comes with a girlfriend, marriage and family.
There has also been a growing trend by the women to mock, laugh and reject men whose genitalia is too small so they tend to find solace in buying sex.
Some men also work long, hard hours leaving no time for dating and romance so whatever opportunity they get to buy sex, they go ahead.
What is so amazing is the reality of the rate at which married men are the ones who mostly visit prostitutes and this should be a concern for the married women.
This is because with this trend, an HIV/Aids free generation becomes questionable.
From the men’s perspective, some wives are to blame because they deny their husbands their conjugal rights leaving them with no option but to visit prostitutes.
A survey conducted by an American publication Newsday Lifestyle revealed that most men who were interviewed had the same thing in mind on the issue of prostitution.
“It is only about emotional struggle. The relationship is clearly based on sex, not anything else. It is not like having trouble to convince your wife or girlfriend to have sex, but with prostitutes, it is very easy.
Sex is not negotiated, only the price,” said one man who identified himself only as Tinashe.
Other men interviewed by Newsday Lifestyle said the prostitutes give men value for money.
“When I am with a sex worker, there is no pressure. It doesn’t matter whether l had a bad day or she had a bad day, sex is guaranteed, as long as l pay for the service, I am assured of satisfaction.
But it is different with your wife or spouse. If she is tired or had a bad day, she will not help you even if you are badly in need,” he said.
Other men complained that their wives of many years had lost interest in sex hence their going for the ladies of the night.
“My wife of 14 years is no longer interested in sex. We can go for two weeks without intimacy and I cannot bear it any more. I have had no option but to go for the ladies of the night who proved to be efficient and indeed a solution for me,” one man said.
These men maintained they were still married and had no intention of ever leaving their wives.
“My wife will remain my partner, I cannot sit down with a prostitute, dine with her and discuss issues, she is just there to offer me a service,” another man said.
“Prostitution is for satisfying a man,” one man once said, “It makes the world interesting; it creates variety, like a delicatessen, you order this, you order that.”
Other men saw sex with prostitutes as a balm against loneliness. Many of these men were older, shy or physically handicapped and saw prostitutes as their only outlet for sex and female companionship.
With these facts on men involvement in prostitution, why are women criminalised as culprits in an act that takes both sexes.
To highlight societal hypocrisy on prostitution, we can cite the Bible when people took an adulteress to Jesus to pass judgment upon her so that they could stone her.
Jesus asked people in the crowd if anyone among them was not guilty of the same sin they wanted to stone the adulteress for.
While prostitution is immoral, what is also clear is that men create the demand while women supply it. Who then should take the blame?
Gender is my Agenda.
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