THERE are times when some families are faced with problems which need people with money to bail them out.
Such problems range from failing to send children to school, families being unable to access medical services at clinics or hospitals, and also failure to buy a coffin when one of their beloved ones dies.
Most families faced with such problems are peri-urbanites and even city dwellers whose heads of the houses may have been out of employment for some time and fend for their families the hard way.
However, some of these families have well-to-do relatives who only show up at funerals.
There is a sigh of relief from the affected family when one of such well-to-do relatives take care of all logistics during the funeral.
But there are families which are completely neglected by their relatives and they have to do everything on their own.
Usually, it is the friends and neighbours who come to their aid, but one wonders what these families would do if one of their beloved ones passed on and there is no one to help out.
A few weeks ago, I was on my way to a funeral house where a friend of mine had lost a mother in Ndola’s Chifubu Township.
As I was walking to the funeral house, I met a former workmate and veteran journalist, Terence Musuku.
Those who know Mr Musuku will agree with me that the man is a very good talker and entertainer who is never short of topics and you would be lucky enough if he gave you chance to contribute to the topics he brings up.
After we greeted, Mr Musuku asked where I was headed to and when I told him that I was going to attend a friend’s funeral, he felt sorry, but as an afterthought, he said it was good I was attending a friend’s funeral.
“In fact, funeral houses are some of your good hunting grounds for your stories,” commented Mr Musuku.
Apparently, the man has been following my articles as an eavesdropper and I must confess that I have gotten many stories from the funeral houses.
“I am sure you will find another story there,” urged Mr Musuku as we bade each other bye-bye.
Yes, I got to my friend’s funeral house, but there was nothing unusual for me there…. meaning that there was no story for me.
But it was a few days later when I attended another funeral in Kabushi Township in Ndola.
It was in the afternoon after burial when we were seated outside the funeral house when a woman walked around and came to where we were.
She had travelled from Lusaka to attend the funeral because one of her relatives was married to a member of the bereaved family.
When she took a seat , one man asked how her family in Lusaka was doing.
After explaining everything, she told the man that her father died a few months back and it was sad that not even one of her relatives came for the funeral.
It was tough for her and her last-born son because they had to fend for themselves.
“Umwana wandi kasuli John ewacitile fyonse. Ewashitile imbokoshi yaba shikulu bakwe nefyakulya abantu pacililo elyo ninshi talebomba. Umukalamba wakwe nabayama bakwe ababomba nakucililo tabaishileko mpaka twashika,” (My last-born son John did everything. He bought a coffin for his grandfather and bought food for the mourners and yet he was not working. His older brother and uncle are in employment but did not even attend the funeral until after burial, explained the woman.
As an eavesdropper, I was interested. Why did the brother and the uncle who were in employment not do anything at the funeral of their grandfather and father, respectively? Why did they leave everything to the young man?
According to the woman, her father died at the University Teaching Hospital (UTH) and when she informed her first-born son who was working in Itezhi-tezhi, he told her to delay the burial until he had raised money to buy a coffin and do all the necessary arrangements for the funeral.
“My father died on a Tuesday and ordinarily, we would have buried on Friday. My son in Itezhi-Tezhi promised that he would come and buy the coffin on Wednesday, but he never showed up. When I called him the following day, his phone was off. I called my brother, who was just within Lusaka, but he also told me to hold on telling me he would come on Wednesday and do everyhting, but he also never showed up,” said the woman.
On Friday when she saw that nothing was happening, his son who was about 19 years old told her that he had kept a bit of money he had saved from some casual work he had been doing to raise funds to enable him attend a driving school.
“Mum, no one is going to do this for us. I have a bit of money which I have been keeping to go to a driving school. We can use it and bury my grandfather on Saturday, I can do piece works  to raise the money again,” John told me.
She said from about K3,000 which the boy had saved, he managed to buy a coffin, food for the mourners and booked a van to collect his grandfather’s body from UTH to Chingwere Cemetery.
She said since it was on a Saturday when they were to bury her father, the mortuary attendants could not release the body until the boy bribed them with K50.
“They told him this was a weekend and they didn’t just release bodies. He begged them and gave them K50 for them to release the body,” said the woman.
She said after the neighbours and friends saw how committed the boy was, they were touched and it was for this reason that they made contributions to help buy food for the mourners.
“One neighbour contributed a goat while others contributed chickens and mealie-meal. Others bought fish, kapenta, onions, tomatoes and vegetables for us and things were made simple,” explained the woman.
She said on Saturday, when her first-born son and her brother did not show up, the 19-year-old John decided that they bury his grandfather with or without the older relatives and that was how burial took place.
“But it was surprising that my first-born son and my brother came soon after burial. They accused me and the boy that we rushed in burying my father and yet they had not done anything.
“Even after burial, they did not contribute anything. What would have happened had it not been for John and the neighbours and friends?” lamented the woman.
“Umwana ulya lesa alemupala. Nomba alingila nencito iyalemushupa nangu alikwete dipuloma yaku college. Pali uwalefwaya ukumwafwako ukuti akatampe incito yabu dalaiva elyo amwabele ati akaye ku driving  school,” (God should bless that child. Now he has even started work which was difficult to come by although he has a diploma from college. Someone promised to help him start work as a driver and told him that he should go to a driving school,” explained the woman.
After this explanation, the man commented that it was true that leadership is given by God.
“Who could dispute if family members took this young man as their leader when they have older people like his uncles and older brothers who are irresponsible?” said the man.
It is also true that in life, you never know who will look after who.
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