By KINGSTON ALI MWILA –
HEY, who is controlling your family? Who is parenting your kids? I am sure you will tell me. ‘Mwila I am in control and I am parenting my kids”.
Further you will ask me why I am asking you such questions.
This time around I thought of sharing few insights of how we have let technology rule your homes and giving power of parenting to technology (Hi-Tec gadgets).
Dear parents do not get me wrong, I have not said technology is bad and I will not say it’s bad. Technology is part of life.
Technology is good but failure to provide discipline, guidance and good leadership to your family can bring regrets.
Firstly, I would say that every home in urban cities of Zambia has some kind of multimedia systems such as TV, DVD player, home theater, satellite TV, gaming systems, laptops or desktop, smart phones, internet connection, a list can go on.
All these and many others fall into the category of Information and Communications Technology (ICT) and that is why I would like to share a few lessons from that how family lifestyles are dictated or influenced by things exposed to.
Before you criticise me, I must tell you that even a family psychologist or a family counselor vindicate this subject but out of the experience, observation and a concerned ICT educator , I want to raise awareness and increase knowledge to parents so that they can get back to their positions in the homes which they have unknowingly surrendered.
Family values and morals can be restored.
A lot of parents in this modern society are so busy either with work or something else which sustains their survival.
They work long hours,some leave while their kids are still in bed and knock off late too.
Of course some will only see their kids when taking them to school until the next morning, the same routine.
In the above scenarios, there is little or no time with your family.
In order to keep our family entertained and not bored, homes are filled with latest multimedia systems to keep them company.
They can watch TV, play music, play games, and connect to internet if there is any, for long hours.
Children will perceive that life is all about what they are exposed to, their behavior, character, attitudes, decision making and all their reflection will be as a result of such.
These kids seem to be more connected with the gadgets than their parents.
They seem to find TV personalities and celebrity to be their heroes and inspirations.
They learn the kind of a certain lifestyle which they see in movies and want to try it in the real world.
Their dressing, language, manners and behavior all changes to reflect to what they perceive as good life.
Parents are your children reflecting the kind of values, aspirations and morals you are desire? A lot of parents have not realized this but have just seen it as normal life by providing everything to their kids.
Until, kids begin to be rebellious, anti-social, disrespectful and showing signs of unusual traits in the homes.
That’s when parents would want to seek help from counselors, spiritual leaders and other means to find a solution.
Before you taken those for prayers and counseling have in mind whom you entrusted them with and who nurtured them.
Filling your home with the entire latest gadgets and only taking your kids for pizza on weekends may not be necessarily enough.
Fill your homes with you presence and leadership.
Guide your family in the way you would want them to be even though when they grow and want to make their choices they will not be lost.
It is said “charity begins at home”.
Parents direct your kids, inspire them, and be heroes to them even when they grow.
Again it is said “train a child in a way he should go so that when he is old he will not depart from it”.
Don’t be so busy to parent your kids. Know what they do on their phones.
Know what they are like at school by meeting their teachers.
Know what they watch on TV, know their friends, know where their friends come from and meet their parents.
Remember, you are still not acting like a policeman. Let them know the time to study and time to play.
Teach them house chores and be responsible.
If you can try to have family time every day to have fun, or watch movies together, or eat together or find something to do with you everything every day.
A good parent will not let the society to discipline his kids but he will do it by himself with love and care but the world will bring misery.
Do not let others to parent your kids because they will not reflect anything out of you.
(The author is ICT Specialist)