LAZZO had always grappled with the common assertion surrounding polygamy as practiced in various quarters in the hinterland.
The definition boldly advanced the notion that polygamy was practiced by the male gender only and excluded the opposite sex!
But Lazzo was finally astounded to learn from a fact that many in the hood paid little attention to this observation and that polygamy was an exclusive preserve of males.
It so happened that what affected Maria in a typical relationship was commonplace and was evidently a popular pastime for a myriad of single women.
Delving into the kitbag of secrets, Lazzo discovered this when the ‘blabbermouth’ at  the watering hole brought to light the indelible incident in the hood which came to light by courtesy of Lazzo’s mentor.
In his usual manner of inebriation at the watering hole, Lazzo’s mentor suffered an unforgettable ordeal for being complacent.
Agony began when his mentor had struck a deal to spend a night at Maria’s dwelling in the hood for the long weekend. As usual when on a romantic outing, Lazzo’s mentor bought a few bottles of alcohol as take-away for the evening in the company of Maria.
To complement the affable retreat, he bought a dressed chicken for supper and this completed home cuisine for the night.
Maria’s sanctuary was a two-roomed adobe brickwall house which was sufficient for a woman who harboured no children as she had safely tucked them away at the grandma’s place in the adjoining section of the locality two kilometres away.
She was a product of a broken home as a series of events in the beleaguered home had led to an unceremonial parting!
As they watched television and downed a few bottles of alcohol spiced with chicken drumsticks, there was a loud knock on the door.
Oblivious of who had come, Maria asked who it was that was knocking at an awkward time.
It was Magulobo the starry-eyed truck driver who paid rent for Maria’s home outside.
He had just parked his cargo-laden truck in the industrial area and had booked a cab to spend a night with Maria.
When the writing was on the wall that it was Magulobo outside, Maria whispered to Lazzo’s mentor that perhaps he should just hide under the bed but the suggestion was met with hesitation by the man in the house.
Suddenly, an idea crept up Maria’s sleeve when she settled for the blue drum in the living room with a dish of plates and other kitchen utensils placed atop.
Lazzo’s mentor had no time to waste and fully embraced the life-saving option mooted by Maria.
With his clothes and shoes on, he stealthily accompanied Maria towards the drum filled with a quarter of its capacity with water.
Maria uncovered the drum by lifting the dish full of kitchenware and let Lazzo’s mentor enter the drum. All this was happening in a flash of a moment as Magulobo stood about a metre from the door.
Inside the house, Lazzo’s mentor had immersed himself in the drum and was safely tucked inside in a squatting position.
Meanwhile, Maria pretended to be fidgeting around in the living room which also served as a kitchen before opening the door.
The towing Magulobo walked in and headed straight to the bedroom and sat on the doubled bed which Maria bought after being a recipient of the common financial pyramid scheme known as ‘Chilimba’ in the hood.
From inside the drum, Lazzo’s mentor could hear the intimate conversations that he should have been part of…
It was a harrowing experience as he had just avoided a nasty skirmish which would have involved two men over a woman!
He had heard many stories of fatalities arising from such encounters in the hood and most of them ended in hospitalisation or of someone’s demise!
Magulobo had evidently inherited a merry dinner table as he sampled a piece of chicken Maria had been frying in the night.
At dawn, Lazzo’s mentor prayed for the other Maria’s lover to make an early exit. At first, Maria tried to persuade the man to go and have a bath in the wash room outside.
Magulobo refused because he did not feel like having a bath outside but would rather bathe indoors!
Maria’s plan had noticeably failed to take effect and now all depended on the man leaving early.
The man lingered on until midmorning when he decided to call it quits for the trucking yard in the industrial area.
Lazzo’s mentor breathed a sigh of relief as the man bade farewell and he could hear him tell Maria that he would be back in three days time after delivering cargo in the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC).
With his shoes wet and the lower bottom of his pair of trousers damp, he emerged from the blue drum helped by Maria who stood by to provide a leaning device while she held the drum with both hands.
He was soon out of the water and he had no ground to lambast Maria because he felt he was also a mere gambler in the game.
Maria consoled him and said it was better that there had been no trouble and all was well. Next time, she said, he ought to think better about spending a night.
In the dry season, he raised eyebrows as he trudged along a township footpath in the hood heading towards the main bus stop.
As he walked, he remembered the old local adage which cautioned a person walking through a bush not to pay attention to the spluttering dry leaves that made noise as one waded through their heaps…!
It had been an exasperating night and Lazzo had learnt a lesson about women who behaved like polygamists in the hood. He began to contemplate re-defining the word ‘polygamy’ in the wake of rampant uni-sex behavioural patterns.
To this effect, he had got wind of insinuations that members of the opposite sex in the film industry were agitating for the discarding of the word ‘actress’ and simply be referred to as ‘actors’.