CHOOSING your wedding colours makes the other planning aspects easier as the colours help and guide you through the decision- making process. We discussed lilac wedding theme colour last week.
Lilac makes the transition from day to night easily; it is, therefore, a good colour option for bridesmaids, groomsmen and those wedding in the afternoon but want things to move onto the evening because the wedding and kitchen party are taking place on the same day nowadays.
The speech that is delivered by the bride’s father comes first then others follow as laid down on the wedding programme.
This speech has to be memorable, brief, and sweet and should give the guests the desire to hear more, that is why it just has to lay a strong foundation.
The Father Of Bride’s speech otherwise referred to as FOB have not been good on many weddings, acclamation from the high table with both parties’ relatives shout with joy, “Tell them”, “Good speech”, “Say that again!
With such shouts, many speakers including FOB think they are good, as a result they continue even if such speeches bore guests.
On many weddings the FOB goes on talking for more than twenty minutes, such that guests become bored and begin to complain.
It is simply out of politeness they would congratulate them after the speech that in itself is a big problem which must be solved if we are to have memorable weddings speeches.
The FOB need to objectively think about himself, considering that his speech, good or bad wiil affect the other speeches to follow.
The historical opening only means that the father relates to some past facts then brings the guests up to date, and then gets on with the main point of his speech.
If kept brief it can paint a picture of how good his daughter has been her character, childhood accomplishments and skills must always get the speech off to a good start.
There is a danger in the FOB to give out too much information about the daughter; a long childhood accomplishment of the bride will send everyone to sleep.
Delving deeply into the past- history makes guests begin to wonder if the speech will ever reach the body. Historical opening must be snappy, it is very useful that much of the information be kept away from the public.
Much as Army officers have an effective way of giving orders by forceful tones of their voices which works well among themselves, such order does not apply at weddings.
Fathers! do not need to speak a word- a pause- a word- a pause and so on. What happens in the army remains in the army.
There are many FOB who are ramblers, they do not believe in prepared speeches, they talk naturally and express the thoughts as they come.
It is a good thing only if the thoughts are worth hearing. I believe that they prepare the speech hide it so that they try to show off that they can do without it, what happens in most cases when they are on their feet is that they forget what had been memorized, try to improve the speech in front of guests and by the time they know it they are rambling.
That shows that they did not understand what they wrote as a result, they begin a story and before it finishes other subsidiary stories are brought in.
The easy way to cure this is by just sticking to your story when conversing; keep to your speech when you are making a speech.
The emotionalist FOB is good, holds the attention and brings tears to guest’s eyes as he speaks. It is good and important to express your emotions, you must look sad when expressing sad thoughts thump the table when you feel strongly about any special subject but do this just once. It is when he goes on thumping tables and being emotional for a long time that guests begin to feel that he is not sincere.
Guests get tired of unnecessary appeals to the Almighty, waving of arms all the time, to denote that the FOB is working himself into lather.
They don’t mind a little emotion in fact they demand it, but it is when emotionalism gets way out of hand that the guests cry “Enough’.
FOB must know that the daughter’s wedding is a big achievement, so that speech must be memorable with relevant facial expressions.
Guests yearn for a smile, laughter, for an eye-twinkle or anything that can brighten up the reception, except that blank, uninteresting face, bitterness that makes one to wonders about what is happening, no one knows.
The wedding guests are not interested in the speeches given at the reception venue so that is why FOB speech beginning should really draw their attention.
Speaker must begin by saying “Gentlemen and Ladies, if I was sitting comfortably, where you are sitting, and then it was the time for speeches, l should feel just as antagonistic towards the speaker as you may do.
I appreciate the way you may be thinking, but I know beyond doubt that you will give me a fair hearing and even those that will speak after me.”
This mind- reading opening can be quite useful because the guests will laugh and say so “he knows what we are thinking”.
This method is used by fishermen and has been very helpful to them when fishing, they think like a fish as a result the catch is successful.
When you stand up to speak, it is always effective to have an informal opening to your speech. You may be seated next to the father of groom, as you stand up look at him with a smile and begin your speech like this “the marriage officiator, guest of honor, ladies and gentlemen,I was saying to the father of groom that it is obvious that you are all deeply interested……”  this gives confidence and right away you are in your stride giving that memorable speech, it all seems so informal such that no-one realises that the FOB has commenced the conversation with Father Of the Groom(FOG) for this purpose.
It is bound to bring a nod of agreement from the counterpart who acts quite naturally because he is not aware that he is taking part in an informal opening to a speech.
I received a text from Mr Lazarus Phiri, saying;
“Hi Sunitta, thank you for the article on wedding speeches, it isn’t helpful only to speakers at weddings, I have learnt something as a preacher.”
Thank you Mr Phiri and continue reading more articles.
Write your wedding story and send it to me, it will be a great way to celebrate Zambia @50, you will be glad you did.
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Email: sunittasyabeene@yahoo.com