A WEDDING is not only a celebration or ceremony, it is also the joining and blessing of two people. It is for this reason that there is no fixed budget for one to have a memorable wedding.
This has stressed many brides and grooms. They have opted for a kitchen party which is more expensive and others have a small come together party which ends up being a wedding celebration.
If you cannot afford to have a loud wedding then go ahead and have what you can afford or what can work within your budget. It is very vital to work within the scope of the budget. I love the words Jesus said in Luke 14:28 “But don’t begin until you count the cost. For who would begin construction of a building without first calculating the cost to see if there is enough money to finish it? Otherwise, you might complete only the foundation before running out of money and then everyone would laugh at you.
In the wedding jargon, a wedding planner would sound like this. Don’t begin until you count the cash available. For who would begin planning a memorable and elegant wedding without first calculating the cost to see if there is enough money to finish it? Otherwise you might complete only the wedding gown and groom’s suit before running out of money and then everyone would laugh at you.
It is wise to start with the budget immediately you get engaged as it will help you with the total number of invited guests, reception venue, food and gowns. The cash at hand helps you with the planning; remember to prioritise important things first. There is nothing stopping you from having a memorable wedding with that money available except yourself.
Many brides and grooms are having problems with relatives who are contributing to the wedding budget. Some are footing the whole budget, while others 80-90 per cent and some less than 50 per cent. They demand alcohol to be in abundance so that their friends can stagger all over the place.
They believe that a function with alcohol calls for more guests and more presents. This has become an issue with the way kitchen parties are organised; these are very important gatherings that are meant to teach young men and women entering into marriage by older men and women.
It is a pity that older men and women who are supposed to give valuable lessons get drunk to an extent that they can’t offer these lessons. The newlyweds are left in the cold to figure out what marriage is all about and how they can make the best out of it.
The bride and groom are in a tug of war as they are bulldozed to include things they do not want. Those footing the budget will choose the wedding gown, groom’s suit, venue, menu and the wedding theme colour. This is very frustrating for the bride and groom who have their own wedding vision, plan and dream about the type of wedding they have always wanted to have.
In the world we live in, the person who pays ultimately gets what he/ she wants. When someone else pays for the wedding it doesn’t hurt your wallet this is a good thing but you have to be willing to compromise on what the wedding will be like.
The person putting in the money does not mean they get half times say or control. Accepting or allowing other people to contribute money means you give up some control, but there are always solutions. Others want a DJ, you want a band, and so what you can do is hire a band which works with a DJ who can play during the band’s break.
This type of scenario happens even at bridal showers, the bride and groom wants the church praise team to sing live music while the organisers and matron prefer traditional drums. The solution is to hire both if you can afford and explain to the organizers how you feel about the beating of drums.
Some develop chest pains and many are associating drums with evil spirits. You can get women from the church to play the traditional drums as another option.
The other person you need to deal with is uncle Mwisho who is not only contributing 95 per cent to your wedding budget he is also well known 95 per cent in his circles. Many men have turned buying beer for others as a social responsibility. This has earned them the title “big buyer”
They want to extend their hand by making sure those in their circles enjoy and receive the assistance they will render. As a result, number one priority to please some people by buying alcohol for them. For you, alcohol is what you don’t want at your wedding.
It is also inappropriate to have a cash bar and ask your guests to pay for their drinks at your wedding, outside or inside the reception venue. There is always a tug of war, alcohol or no alcohol.
The key to making this work is negotiations and compromise. Explain to your uncle how you feel about people staggering at your wedding reception. As a Christian this may affect your faith, why buy alcohol for other people when you don’t drink?
The other issue is what type of music to play; circular or gospel or Christian music. If you think gospel music is boring well then think again. A lot of gospel songs work well with wedding dances and they make even the oldest inhabitant to go on the dance floor.
Above all avoid offending others. Let the relatives, friends and well-wishers pay for something you don’t have strong opinions about, don’t shut them out completely. Encourage their input and who knows they may even have a good idea or two.
Compromise where you can and stick to your arsenal on the things that are really important, money can create some serious problems in planning a wedding when not handled well.
Plan your wedding in good time to afford being stressed. If you are having your wedding this weekend take enough time to communicate with God, give yourself plenty of time to get ready, relax and enjoy yourself and have a good breakfast. Plenty of fruits and water for that healthy body shape.
A wedding is not a competition, work within the scope of your budget, enjoy every moment and invite a few close friends and relatives. Ensure that your wedding ceremony and celebration leaves an elegant lasting memory with you and your invited guests.
Pay particular attention to detail and lots of love by planning the function with your guests in mind.
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