Love goes beyond Valentine’s Day
Published On February 13, 2014 » 2995 Views» By Davies M.M Chanda » Letters to the Editor
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ValentineIT has been said that there is hardly any activity, any enterprise, which is started with tremendous hopes and expectations, and yet, which fails so regularly as love.
Pardon my cynical statement on a day like this one but I was reading an article earlier this week on the Internet about a woman in New York who, just in time for Valentine’s Day, has put up posters in subway cars looking for a man she fell for while riding the A line toward Brooklyn in November.
According to reports, this lady, who is a performance artist from Chile living in Manhattan, saw this man in the subway and liked him but before she could give him her email address and her art Web page, she lost him when more people got on the subway car.
This story reminds me of an episode of the US sitcom How I Met Your Mother titled “Desperation Day.”
One of the characters, Barney, explained the story of Desperation Day, the day before Valentine’s Day-which single women find themselves desperate and easy to hook up with on the eve of Valentine’s Day.
Now, I will readily admit that I have no experience to assume the role of a life coach here. However, I don’t think the ability to understand fundamental truths about human connection has anything to do with whether you’re Dr Phil or Sis Dolly.
Being in a relationship is a great way for people to discover new things about themselves and develop better interpersonal skills. But should we rush into a relationship just because we don’t want to be left out on Valentine’s?
Rushing into anything especially a love relationship is never a good idea, even if it’s love at first sight.
Perhaps I’m being old fashioned here but I’m not ashamed to say I still believe in that wonderful art of courting and speaking to somebody and learning to be friends before anything else happens.
With that said, I’m also very much aware of the fact that there are no standards that work with all people, every time, when it comes to love and relationships.
But as one blogger turned hit author Mandy Hale who is affectionately known around the world as “The Single Woman” correctly observed, “until you get comfortable with being alone, you’ll never know if you’re choosing someone out of love or loneliness.”
Of course no one can deny that life is better lived together, but we should enter a relationship being happy and never bestow such huge responsibility on someone else. It is no one’s responsibility to make us happy.
Happiness is one door that can only be opened from inside.
Today, many are stuck in un-loving relationships for fear of being alone. You don’t have to be in a relationship to be happy. And you don’t have to be with someone to enjoy Valentine’s Day.
Really, one can be a whole number too. Let us learn to enjoy our company.
And if Valentine’s Day is about love, are we not to remind ourselves that love is primarily about giving and not receiving? God reminds us of this cardinal lesson in John 3:16. I don’t have to quote that verse as most of us can recite it with ease.
Congratulations to those who will spend today with someone truly special. Also, it should go without saying that the way you and your partner treat each other throughout the year makes difference to your enjoyment of Valentine’s Day.
Sending texts, taking strolls, dining together, holding hands, hugging, kissing and sharing gifts should not only be displayed on Valentine’s Day.
True love shows up 365 days a year and not just on February 14th.
Wishing you great and happy Valentine’s Day!
Kampa Senkwe

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